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In Retrospect: How Marital Infidelity Impacts Marriage And Why It Occurs
It can happen very innocently. At the gym you can be talking to a person of the opposite sex exercising next to you about your spouse and issues you're going through. This person is good looking and listens patiently to all your woes. You keep showing up at the gym at the same time week after week to work out and become friends. He or she suggests going for coffee after the workout. One thing results in another and before you know it you're in an extramarital affair. It wasn't meant to happen, but it happens.
Similar to a bad moon on the rise, marital infidelity is increasing each day, with one or both spouses in approximately 40 percent of marriages admitting to having affairs; most are sexual, but some are just emotional. More men than women admit to having an extramarital affair at least once during their marriage. The typical affair lasts about 2 years. This is one of the main reasons why 53 percent of all marriages in America end up in divorce.
These figures are amazing when it has been found that 80% of Americans say that infidelity in marriage is wrong. Hence, it is usually not approved of in the USA.
Males generally cheat for one main reason: sex. After children come along in a marriage, many men no longer have a sexual desire for their wives. They see their wives as motherly figures instead of sexually desirable. Also, they find that during marriage, the sex becomes mechanical & routine, lacking the adventure and adrenaline rush they wish. Additionally, an affair boosts their egos, proving they still have what it takes.
Women, on the other hand, do not usually cheat for sex, but rather for an emotional bond. Sex is secondary, however. Women sometimes find themselves left out emotionally from their husbands. She is regarded as the care giver, the cook and housekeeper, regardless of her work condition. When she meets a man that sees her as something more, that's normally when the affair begins. Surprisingly, when women initiate the affair, it usually lasts three times longer than when men initiate it.
When infidelity in marriage occurs, it is a signal there're problems within the marriage. People change, but often spouses do not change at the same rate. Sometimes, one spouse will develop dependence on their spouse, not being open to having a life of their own and it will begin to suffocate the other person.
With all the outside factors, it is easy to lose sight of what is really going on within a relationship and before long, there're issues and neither spouse wants to take any blame. The lines of communication break down. Keeping a great marriage going is hard work and most of the people today would rather take the easy way out.
The rising availability and influence of the Internet is making this situation worse with ten percent of users reporting they are addicted to sex in cyberspace and other online enticements. Even though these internet affairs don't involve physical contact they can still destroy marriages and relationships.
Often marriages can survive marital infidelity but they're rare and the relationship between the spouses is never the same. There's constant wonder whether it will happen again. Trust is an essential part of a secure marriage and once that has been broken, often times it is irreparable. Communicating with your partner might resolve a lot of the problems before they get out of control. Marriage is a commitment and most people today don't seem ready for that.
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